Author Archives: jame4357

THE RAMP

I know I’ve mentioned having some joint pain once in a while. No big deal but annoying sometimes. Mostly in my shoulders and probably because I have a big chest. Whatever. The thing is that they bother me sometimes. This was partly why the folks put me on the diet. They figured if I lost a couple of pounds it would take some of the weight off my shoulders—so to speak. Continue reading →

Anyone who’s ever seen me will agree that I don’t look like the ‘girly’ type. No bows in my hair, no frilly collars or silly outfits. Except on certain holidays when Lani, the Doc’s wife and my sort-of mom, insists on making me wear theme neckerchiefs. Like the green one on St. Patrick’s Day, the Stars and Stripes on Memorial Day, the orange and black number on Halloween, (my favorite because it goes well with my natural coloring), and the really goofy stuff they put on me around Christmas time.

One year it’s this headband with antlers, like I’m supposed to be a reindeer. Another time it was some floppy hat with a bell on top—Kaya the elf. Then they start taking pictures! It’s pretty embarrassing but it seems important to them for some reason so I go along with it, more or less. The less part being my ears.
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It’s been a while since my last installment and some of you are probably wondering where I’ve been. I mean, after my last bit about the aches and pains the hypochondriacs out there might even think I’ve been in the hospital, or worse. Not so. I’m fine. As usual. And no, I haven’t run out of things to say. My absence has been more a matter of ‘technical difficulties’.

My readers assume, rightly, that I am the source of the material in my columns. My views, my thoughts, my opinions. But there’s a bit of a dirty secret I’ve been keeping to myself which I think needs to be divulged and it’s this: I can’t type. There. I said it. The air is once again clear.
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For as long as I can remember, and that’s longer than you think, I’ve felt good. Really good. No matter what I did or how long or hard I did it I felt fine. Maybe a little tired, but nothing a nap wouldn’t fix. OK, there was the time I misjudged the height of a stump and cut my chest on this piece of metal that was sticking out of it. The folks weren’t home, (yes, there had been suitcases involved), but my buddy Tom was staying with me and took me to the vet.

She, the vet, someone who’d been pretty nice to me before, gave me some kind of drug that knocked me out. When I woke up I was all wrapped up in bandages and had this plastic thing around my head. I looked ridiculous. I felt sick and dizzy. I mean, I was fine before I got there. The cut didn’t hurt. What was the big deal? Tom said I’d needed stitches, whatever those are. Personally, I think a nap would have done the trick.
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